There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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