i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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