I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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