is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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