i just wanna soil my oats bro
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
