yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize