She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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