Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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