Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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