I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
