Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
