Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
