he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
