lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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