She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
