Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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