i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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