Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
