I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
