I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
