Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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