i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
