He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize