so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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