hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
