Girls should come with a carfax report
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
