So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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