Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize