Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
