what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize