I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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