Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.