sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I smell stomach acid.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.