"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I accidentally burped into my bong.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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