one two three fourrrrnication!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
