PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
