I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize