Where is the hickey?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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