Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
