Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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