My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
