I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
