My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
