I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize