You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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