Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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