I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
