you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
