I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize