well I can't set my house on fire every night
Do vagina's smell?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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