$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
They took my balls.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm getting married
To pizza
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
