Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize