good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
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i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
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Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Pants are for mortals
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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