I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
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At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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