why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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