Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
