I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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