drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I am one with the molecules
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
