I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
