3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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