We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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