oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
