Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
