Screwed.edu
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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