No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Fuck appropriateness.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sext me about skeletons
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
