i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
