remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize