People with herpes should wear stickers.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize