I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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