Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize