i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
