White coat. Heels.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
